The Next Generation of NRIs Don’t Want To Be Called Indians

Is our Indian heritage strong enough to withstand the influences of the West? Can NRI children hang on to their cultural roots when they cross the oceans or do they lose their moorings? Amanda Thomas finds that some do and some don’t.

Living in the Middle East as an Indian expat, it is easier to stay connected to the homeland. Perhaps it’s the proximity that allows for annual visits, or the fact that Indian citizenship does not have to be surrendered to reside there. No matter how worldly you are or how multicultural your group of friends may be, you are still an Indian.

Cross the ocean to the West, to other lands of opportunity and the lines of patriotism and heritage begin to blur. Play your cards right and you can be a citizen of Canada, America, or any other country that allows it. Being further away from India means fewer visits, leaving behind family and friends to live in a new country forces you to blend. The initial struggle that immigrants face to succeed creates a sense of “earning the right” to become a citizen and to be called “Canadian”, “American”, etc. But at what point do we stop being Indian? Is it just our passports that tell us who we are, or is it our experiences that shape us?

Dr. Usha George, professor at Ryerson University and author of Immigration and Settlement in Canada (2007), says that there are multiple factors that contribute to immigrants, specifically children of immigrants, shedding their “Indian” label. “In places like Dubai, for example, you keep your Indian citizenship, but in Canada, citizens by naturalization have the same rights and responsibilities as any other Canadian. The problem with boxing them into one category is that they feel they have a dual or hybrid identity, and describing them as Indian is not accurate.”

Mark and Arlene Dennis came to Canada with their sons, Luke and Matthew, 17 years ago. “Humility,
treating parents and elders with respect, and going to church were some of the things we tried our best to instill in our kids,” he says. “Our children have been pulled in both directions; our Indian culture and the Canadian culture. It was tough on them living one culture at home and another with their friends in school. On the whole they are more Canadian and less Indian. They have their own jokes about us and likewise we are never short of being amazed at the things they do which they feel is normal. I believe it is our Indian culture and values that have seen us through; that we love our children and they love and understand that we are different. Under the circumstances of our journey anything more would be a bit too much to ask.”

Luke their oldest son, was nine when they arrived in Canada. “Going to school with no uniforms, having a cubby, the breakfast club, and kids of all different races are some of the things I remember being shocked about.

As I grew older, there was some bullying because I was shorter than most and I was the only Indian in my class, but as I became more ‘Canadian’ it didn’t occur as often. To be honest, I really don’t feel that strong a connection to my Indian heritage. I don’t speak the language, the food gives me heart burn and the movies annoy me. Having never lived in India, most of what I know is from brief vacations and stories from my parents. I definitely feel like I belong in Canada.

“However, being from Toronto and being a Canadian is something I struggle with. My line of work has given me the opportunity to travel quite a bit within Canada. When outside the metropolitan area, the cultural differences become more evident and it’s hard to determine whether they’re a result of being an Indian or an urbanite. When people ask me where I’m from, I feel obligated to say India, however when I’m out of the country, I say I’m Canadian. Racial slurs and ignorant comments are few and far between in my daily life, but when they do come up, intentional or not, it makes me feel like I’m not a ‘real’ Canadian.”

Ashok Nagewadia and his family have lived in Canada for about 40 years. “Since we had lived in Uganda and England prior to coming to Canada; we had no trouble adapting to the culture. It is important for the children to know their Indian heritage only to the level at which they want to retain it; we want them to know the important facts; the rest is up to them, after all, they are Canadian now,” says Ashok.

His son, Nikin, who was born in Canada says, “I go to the temple on very few occasions mostly to please my family, particularly, my grandparents. There are some similarities and differences between our views. However, speaking for myself, I believe values continually evolve, especially in relation to the times and environment we currently live in. I consider myself Canadian – my family history dates back to India, but I am Canadian.”

Albert and Mary Ann Green landed in Canada in 1997 with their three sons and have been here ever since. “We do not insist that the children retain their Indian heritage, we just do our job as parents and hope and pray that they maintain the values and principles that we taught them.” The Greens feel that their children’s mannerisms and behavior have changed to reflect the traditions of Canada. They say “at the end of the day, it’s all about change and how well you can adjust to it.

As the saying goes “it is not the strongest species that survive, nor the intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.” Their middle son, Dwayne was ten when they immigrated to Canada. “Growing up here took some getting used to, especially in school. Most students were welcoming but there were the few who would make fun of my accent or choice of words (ex. Rubber=eraser).

I can say that I definitely feel a sense of belonging in Canada, I have lived here for most of my life and haven’t lived in India at all. I would consider myself Canadian or at most a Canadian-Indian.”  Patrick and Lena Taylor, along with their son, Mikhail have lived in Canada for 20 years. “I don’t know if my son retains anything from India. He does have strong family values, so that, I think, is part of what happens when you are from India, but then that is there in so many other cultures too. I am hoping he has taken the best of both cultures.”

Mikhail, was three when they all came to Canada “At the time of our migration (early 90s), Toronto did not have the huge diversity it has today. Growing up and fitting in was difficult, with my Indian heritage (i.e. traditions, behaviour, cuisine, etc.). I can recall times where I had to hide my lunch and eat it, as it wasn’t the typical sandwich and I was afraid of standing out or being judged.

“My connection to India and my heritage has significantly reduced over the years. Having said that, although I’ve spent the last 20 years in Canada and hold Canadian citizenship, I still consider myself Indian. The fact that I was born there and still have some sense of our culture, (with regards to wedding ceremonies, and other traditions) it really isn’t something that I’ve completely outgrown or moved away from.”

Sujatha Krishnan and her family have been in Canada for 24 years. “We came to Canada in the year 1990 with a five year old son, our daughter was born here. We are very Canadian in our outlook and culture but have managed to retain our Indian heritage too. We speak our native language which is Tamil but my children mostly speak English. We celebrate Diwali and Pongal and the children come home for a family celebration. But I must say my children enjoy Christmas as much as they enjoy Diwali. They are well read and have a good knowledge and understanding of Indian culture. Nonetheless they are more Canadian in their day to day life. It’s a kind of a happy synergy of both worlds and cultures and we are quite happy having it that way. We strongly believe that there must be a sense of belonging and ownership of the country in which you live as much as it’s important to acknowledge your roots.”

Sujatha’s son, Uday, was six when they arrived in Canada says, “I’d identify as a Canadian-Indian. If it comes to politics, current economic climate, history, religion, philosophy, I have a very strong connection with India.” We don’t visit India very often, and besides Tamil I can’t speak any other Indian languages. I connect with a ton of my Indian heritage, but religion is probably my favourite subject. I may not fit in very well with “Indian” culture though, because if an idea is wrong or bigoted, I have zero problems letting someone know that, even if they may be my ‘elder.’ ”

Rukmini his sister, has a lot to say on the subject of  cultural identity. “Culture is a tricky thing that requires a bit of a balancing act when you’re first generation. My parents were extremely lenient considering they were born and brought up in southern India. I wore whatever clothes I wanted, assuming no cleavage or midriff was showing. I was allowed to go to parties; I drank alcohol, just never told them. Growing up I heard comments like ‘you’re so white washed,’ or ‘you’re like the least Indian person I know.’ It was either an insult by Indian kids or a compliment by white kids. Being a teenager is hard, you try so hard to blend in and fit in and if you asked me when I was 16, I might have just said I’m Canadian.

I wanted to be like all my friends, different is bad at that age. But at 23, I am Indian, and I am Canadian. I’m like a blended smoothie!” “The last time I was in India, my cousins and I went out for a ‘girls’ night’. It was my uncle’s birthday and he was upset we didn’t stay home and yelled at everyone except me, then he turned to me and said “I can’t be mad at you Mini, you’re from Canada and you don’t understand our culture.” I was really hurt by that comment, because I realize, even though I consider myself to be very tied into my culture, other Indians don’t see it that way. As I’ve grown older I’m more comfortable in my own skin, I’m comfortable saying I’m Indian-Canadian. Canada is my home, it always will be, but India is part of how I understand my world, it’s a crucial part of who I am.”

Amanda Thomas is a freelance writer based in Canada.