By Frank Raj
Some time when the river is ice ask me
mistakes I have made. Ask me whether
what I have done is my life. Others
have come in their slow way into
my thought, and some have tried to help
or to hurt: ask me what difference
their strongest love or hate has made.
I will listen to what you say,
You and I can turn and look
at the silent river and wait. We know
the current is there, hidden; and there
are comings and goings from miles away
that hold the stillness exactly before us.
What the river says, that is what I say.
-William Stafford, “ASK ME”
Ever since I came across William Stafford’s poem the question he poses has long haunted me. Ask me whether what I have done is my life. It is a disquieting question with profound spiritual application if you grasp the main idea – what is my life and what have I done with it? Life does not consist in the abundance of material possessions so what is our focus and how do we know we are on the right track? Faith is one area of our lives most of us don’t think enough about.
It was Emerson who noted: Most men lead unexamined lives. Few of us consider the difference between blindly following traditions, rituals, or wise, ‘holy’ or clever men, versus truly seeking to know the Creator. The scriptures indicate that God longs to connect with his creation.
The greatest pursuit an individual can undertake in his life is not taken seriously.
Like most people I lived a life largely separated from people of other faiths mainly because of something I will simply call ‘Religionism.’ It is basically religious pride – we all have it and it manipulates us into keeping a distance from one another. I have tried to bridge that gap by sharing my own journey of faith and discussing various spiritual topics in my writings.
Most of us will agree that our religions teach us to be quite rigid about our beliefs. The larger part of my life went by before I understood the impact such mind control had on me. Looking around it is obvious people hunger for a personal relationship with God but most of us are unaware we cannot connect until we figure out that ‘Religionism’ is a dead end. Genuine personal faith does not happen by mixing our traditions with some religious pot pourri and swelling our spiritual pride. Faith, the scriptures tell us comes by hearing from the Word of God.
The adventure begins when we start investigating the fragments of truth we might have and employ them to find the mother lode. The shortest pilgrimage anyone can make is from the mind to the heart.
It is the only one we need.
Millions of people are confused about God; I was no exception, traveling in the same boat. Early in life like most people, I was inducted into an institutional belief system that I inherited, which hardly encouraged me to think. Subjected to a hierarchy of clergy and other well meaning practitioners, I was thoroughly infused with the common dogma of ‘Religionism.’ In their zeal to manage and grow their membership my mentors were quite unconcerned about my personal faith.
Understanding I needed a life-changing, individual relationship with my Creator never occurred to me. The focus of all religions is to make us ‘Religionists’ – people who sign up and follow rules and rituals and remain in awe of human leadership.
In my case they only succeeded for about half of my life before I figured out that vertical direct access to the Maker is possible without the aid of middlemen.
Looking back at my own experience and seeing how universally every religious system basically controls its members, I wonder if most people live in a world where unwittingly they have voluntarily given up their God given right to evaluate their spiritual life – most have been so thoroughly conditioned to “do,” not to think.
But Truth is an ocean wide and deep and eternity is set in our hearts. We are all given a few precious drops of truth that can lead us to understand why eternal salvation cannot be earned by good works hoping to bribe God.
True righteousness flows from a penitent heart that humbly receives salvation as an unmerited gift of divine grace. Fear, intolerance or custom should not hinder us in our individual pursuit of God. We are engineered to be free, we are not meant to be in awe of other people no matter how wise or religious they may appear.
Today I am an ordinary follower of the One who promised that we shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free. I took him at his word and discovered that his promise is real. Reflecting on my life as the days pass, I constantly review and examine the wonder of it all. It is quite fascinating – where I started and where I have ended up with no regrets about my spiritual journey into freedom – and out of bondage.
If you ask me whether what I have done is my life, what can I really say with confidence? Only that my spiritual quest has been invaluable – I’ve learned it is indeed possible to understand the character of this great Creator of the universe because he allows us to. It is compelling how he reveals himself – something he alone does uniquely and personally for everyone who calls upon his name. One thing I know for sure – he is not the exclusive property of any religion nor does any religion have the authority to guarantee that mere membership will take you into his presence.
Still you might persist in asking – Is what I have done my life?
Yes! In terms of work it took a while but I found my labor of love. In terms of family I have met my obligations. In terms of health I’m in reasonably good shape. In surrendering my life to him not to any institution, I couldn’t “do” better! I finally learned not to be in awe of people with religious knowledge because it is possible to gain wisdom directly from the source of the Truth in the holy scriptures. There I found the knowledge and freedom I longed for, hidden in plain view. It is visible only to the lowly in heart who can lay aside their pride, for he turns away the proud in heart.
Observing the joy and meaning people find when they genuinely engage one another on matters of faith is very interesting. Why this particular awareness has developed for me I can’t say, except that I have always been intrigued by the mystery of human relationships.
There are many levels at which we connect with people but I find there is nothing deeper than a meeting of minds searching for the Truth. At first this is difficult because each of us is unwilling to accept the other person’s views.
We may hardly have examined our own beliefs, so how can we interact meaningfully with someone else’s? A nugget of wisdom might have been gained, but in fear we refuse an opportunity to share life’s brief journey with a fellow human being of infinite worth. Or worse still we pretend we have something better when we do not. Perhaps we even go so far as to engage in an act of violence.
For much of my life I too was intolerant of other beliefs. My mind would not consider even the tenets I believe in that require me to love my neighbor as myself without any exceptions. For most of my life I preferred to choose my neighbors and as a result I have few friends. Now after nearly seven decades of my life there is a desire to understand more, to share more – including lessons learned from disappointments and failures as well as successes, and to love people more. I am at an age when such desires are less likely to be misunderstood!
I keep knocking in the hope a few doors will open if only to commiserate with someone in the evening of his life who could have done better and been less judgmental of his fellow man.
Frank Raj is the founding editor of Desh Aur Diaspora.
